But I'm in two minds

We are conditioned in life to think that being in two minds is a bad thing, that it is indecisive and that it makes it difficult to make a decision.

I say different, I say being in two minds is an excellent thing!

I have been writing this week about how we might employ negotiation techniques to resolve the differences between our true self and our ego in order to tip the balance in favour of our true selves.

To do that though, it absolutely requires that you can hold both points of view in your head at the same time - your true self's and your ego's. Literally to be in two minds!  If you cannot see both views then how can you be sure which mindset you are running your life to?

So if you are in two minds, then celebrate!

If you have reached this happy state but it is not feeling like a happy state then I genuinely think that some of the negotiation techniques I have discussed could help you. Give them a try - they work for me!

But what if you are not of two minds?  What if you can only see one side of the argument?  That means you are going to have to face up to the dilemma that you can't be sure which mind you are in, your ego's or your true self's.  Now maybe you feel you don't need to, maybe whatever choice you are making right now is making you happy - but are you really sure?  Are you sure that you are not being duped by your ego? 

The opposite scenario is sometimes clearer, if you are feeling pretty crappy about yourself then you probably are stuck in your ego. Imagine the relief if you could step back from that and hold a whole different point of view where you can see that things are not quite as your ego would have you believe.

Whichever way round it is for you, I hope you can see the argument for having both views in your head.

So how to get there if you are struggling.  I find this approach which I got from a whole different subject area works for me ....

Whichever frame you are starting from, happy or sad makes no difference - because remember that neither is an indicator of true self or ego.  Hold out your two hands in front of you palm up and open.

Now imagine that the decision you are wrestling with and your current single point of view is sitting as a little figurine on the palm of one of you hands.

Now imagine a different figure sitting on the other hand but one which has the totally opposite point of view to the one you feel attached to.

Now remember that neither of these two figures are you,  so whatever advice you are about to give them is nothing to do with you.

Next, go to a place in your heart and give your advice to the two figurines. Remember my negotiation theme, the job is to give a win win to each of the figurines, not just to one. So dispense your advice accordingly. If you think you cant find a win win, then have a read of my blogs for the past few days, it might help.

By the time you have done this, it will be very clear to you what your true self wants, your true self will be hugely inclined towards one of the figurines.  That’s the one to go for.  And you will have done it without even having to consider yourself or your ego. Job Done.

Try it!